What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Which fish tastes good for South Indian curries?

TEXT:

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What do bad boys know that nice guys don't?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Is Europe willing to risk losing its alliance with the United States, if they choose to continue the war in Ukraine?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Is Florida now unsurvivable because it's an oven due to climate change? It's 11:48 am on May 30th and the heat index in SoFla is 100. I can see it going up to over 130 by July.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why is Nickelback known to be a bad band?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.